Yesterday started out as any ordinary day would: tea in bed with home made crunchies... a hot shower... followed by a lazy breakfast of sunny side up on a slice of wholewheat toast...
It was a beautiful day and Mom and I had planned to spend it meandering through Kalk Bay, window shopping, maybe the occasional purchase... stopping off at the little delicatessen shops along the way for some hot coffee, perhaps a croissant... then we were off to have our hair done! What a perfect way to spend a Friday off!
So we are just about to leave the house, clad in our summery frocks and Grecian sandals and mom gets a phone call from the dentist.. she'd forgotten about her 11am tooth extraction! How appropriate- I would've done the same.. selective memory disorder - the less pleasant the appointment, the more apparent the disorder becomes! Anyway the Dentist is on the way and we figure she'll be done in two ticks and then we can get back to our excursion!
So I decide go along with her for moral support and a good laugh - I've never really been the one to turn to when you're in pain.. I think its a nervous disorder or something, but I can't seem to contain my laughter in the face of extreme distress! Bad bad person I know!!!
So the dentist straps mother in as he can see she's already starting to hyperventilate at the mere sound of his air suction pipe, let alone the high speed drill and wrench that are about to extract what is left of her tooth!! Anyway so he gets to work on her tooth.. I realise at this point that I really am quite a sicko for being present to witness all of this in the first place, but I justify my presence by playing the caring daughter role - and holding mothers hand as she squirms in torment, much to my perverse delight!
So about ten minutes into the procedure something appears to be going drastically wrong, the left side of mothers neck and cheek had begun to swell up to an abnormal size and she was violently motioning for the doc to stop at once - as she thought she may be having a heart attack!
Now if you knew my mother at all you would see the humour in all this, she has a severe claustrophobia problem: hates confined spaces and being put in any situation where she is not completely and uncompromisingly in control! Hence going to the Dentist and Doctor are both in the red high alert zone on her "No No" list of things to do!
Never the less the Dentist was determined to get one last tiny piece of her molar out which appeared to have broken off from the tip of the root! This however was proving to be impossible, and the more he probed and drilled and wrenched, the more worked up and exacerbated mother was getting until she just about took his finger off and demanded the medical rescue be alerted at once!
About 2 min's later ( Don't ask me how they got there so quickly- regular occurrence at this dentist? hmmm) four burly paramedics rush into the room: stethoscopes, heart monitor on generator, needles blood pressure pumps and medical gloves in tow!
Mother at this point is puffing and wheezing in such discomfort, I wasn't sure which way I should run or hide or laugh, so I crouched down on the floor and grabbed her hand in a feeble attempt to sooth her! I think I was in shock OK!
Its seems what had happened, which later we found out was called Subcutaneous surgical emphysema, was that the pressure from the high speed air drill had introduced foreign oxygen into the subcutaneous layer of the skin. Which is in between the muscle sheet and the skin. This causes bloating around the face, neck and chest area, resulting in extreme pain and discomfort as well as difficulty in breathing. ( medical synopsis compliments of Dr. Mia)
The other weird symptom is that the bloated area feels like crinkle paper or rice crispies to the touch, no jokes - it actually snap crackle pops!
After the medics had done their thing, we were rushed off to false bay hospital, don't ask me what in tar nation we were doing there! I actually get grills just thinking about it! We were subjected to a 4 hr wait on these trashy hard wood benches, in this terrible blue light waiting room - and I swear to g_d I saw a roach!!!
The upside: I now have extreme appreciation for everything in my life! And as long as I'm never subjected to anything like that again - I think I may even start supporting a charity!
Eventually we were seen and mother got an x-ray. We were then filed back into the queue and had to wait for a further 45mins just to be told that they wanted mother to stay over night, as they had no idea what she actually had! I mean come on people!! 4hrs to hear that! I think not!!!
At this point I decided to take matters into my own hands. I bundled poor, shivering, bloated mother into the warm car. Then I charged around said "hospital" trying to find someone in charge! To no avail! So I hopped in the car and we hot footed out of there!!! Never to be see again!
Thank heavens our own doctor, who was many miles away but well worth the trip, could actually diagnose and treat her in 10 min's which had taken 4hrs at the roach infested false bay clinic!!
I then got to take poor, starving, traumatised mother home, feed her and put her to bed for some much needed rest! I'll remember to trust my instincts and drive the distance in future! Everything always looks clearer and more decisive in retrospect though doesn't it!
Its quite frightening to realise that our parents aren't really super heroes after all, and they can get sick and fragile just as easily as we can. Its quite nice to assume the superhero role for them from time to time... just for a day or two ;)) But no funny ideas of luxury and pampering now OK, or we'll be forced to whip out the snivelly nose, red eyes and coughing tactic!!
Post script: Ducks invented Rice Crispies ;))
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