.... Am I Living My Dream?

So I'm beginning to wonder, how many times do you have to put yourself out there before the right opportunity comes along and presents itself to you? Something tangible, to hold onto and evolve with.

In this day and age everything is available to us at the click of a mouse, so why is finding the right career such an impossible probability!
Look I'm not completely naive I know everything comes at a price, and there are the necessary compromises and steps to take on the way "up the ladder"... But seriously where do you even begin?!

I know now what I want to do, but do you think I could find the door! Well not yet anyway... Sometimes I feel like a feverish hound scratching on the back kitchen door of life... just throw me a frikken bone here already, please!!!

I mean I know I don't exactly have the best track record when I get into things, but I honestly believe you realise within the first week of getting into something whether or not its going to lead you the right way, or if its leading you on a completely obscure goose hunt. Well that's how I feel anyway. If I got into a place that allowed realised my potential and allowed me to flourish and grow... even if my only way in was to scrub the toilets of the bottom floor.. at least I would feel like there was a light at the end of the dreary tunnel!

Everything I have done has given me a firm understanding of what I enjoy doing, nothing has been completely pointless... even if all it taught me in the end was what I have absolutely zero interest- in at least I left with that knowledge. I know I'm not the only one who feels like this, I know there are hundreds of people who have stuck out the same boring dead end jobs year in and year out thinking the same thing... am I living my dream? Is this truly all my life is ever going to amount to? I'm not young, but I'm not exactly old either! I have some time yet but I feel as if I am closer now than ever to what I can see myself building a career in. Something I am endlessly passionate about, and something that has massive potential for growth in my mind and my creativity.

I don't want to spend even one day of my time feeling average in life, I want to be exceptional and I believe the only way I am ever going to do that is to follow my dream, even if it is bogus... some how some way its going to take me to places I can only imagine. Isn't that what the law of attraction is? To believe in something unequivocally, until one day you wake up and realise your dream?

I am sitting in the darkness, staring out of a jagged edged wreck onto a paradise. And I'm excited! And I know somewhere in the not to distant future I'll be standing outside in the light and this will all be a jaded dream moving me to greater heights.